Stuff that I don’t understand

1. Spam

I don’t get it. What good could it possibly do sending rubbish comments with links to blog comments? Surely nobody, besides the most stupid of idiots, would ever fall for that? Or is that the target market?

No sir, I do not have kidney disease. Thank you for asking. You do however, have brain disease. There’s an easy solution though. Click off the safety on an armed hand-gun, put it to your head, and pull the trigger. God will reward you in heaven, really.

2. Bullshit

Some people took offense in our daily Scrum stand-up yesterday… because after I deliberately took tasks that amounted to less hours than those in a day and was questioned about it, my reply was “Some people are idle throughout the sprint. My tasks are done so I intend to be idle for the rest of the sprint.”

OK, so I was being sarcastic and inappropriate. People, you know I am sarcastic! And sarcasm is never appropriate. (Nor is rudeness.) If it were appropriate, it would no longer be sarcasm. It would be bullshit, like the bullshit that you tell me. Why did I write all the code myself this sprint? Why do you spend so much time testing negative cases that do not touch the actual code?

If I am assigned any bugs for an external service (that moves files into our directory) for failing to move unknown files into an error directory, when these represent files from the bank, and the bank only ever sends fucking flatfiles, I am going to bounce them right back at you with comment “NOT A BUG”.

Why does it take several hours to test something that I coded in 2 minutes?

2. Johannesburg drivers who give way to taxis

I hate taxis, but I do understand them. They stop anywhere to pick up or drop passengers, including in whatever lane they are driving in. They then do whatever they can do get back en route, including driving in empty turn-only lanes, then cutting off everybody when they get to the front and force their way into the normal lane; driving into the lane risking colliding into oncoming traffic if there is a gap, then once again forcing their way into the main lane at the front; crossing intersections (usually also from turning-only lanes) just before the traffic-light changes to green.

I get all that. That’s what they do here. What I both hate and fail to understand is the fucking morons who let them in. It’s not difficult to cut them off! I do it all the time. Why would you let somebody in, when the chances are very high that he will stop right in front of you? Are you fucking brain-dead?

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About Jerome

I am a senior C# developer in Johannesburg, South Africa. I am also a recovering addict, who spent nearly eight years using methamphetamine. I write on my recovery blog about my lessons learned and sometimes give advice to others who have made similar mistakes, often from my viewpoint as an atheist, and I also write some C# programming articles on my programming blog.
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